I love and adore you; Yes you! Now I challenge you to tell three people you know that you love and adore them. You’re on the ⏰ let’s go. Recovery Happens #Goals

So I went to church today and to be honest it was quite a struggle to get there. However, I made it service was wonderful and upon leaving I began to feel much better. Actually I feel brand new! It’s a long story but this is a wonderful feeling as it makes me believe that I can go on a little longer. Popcorn 🍿 certainly is calmer Alleluia! Hahaha you would have to know her she can be a friend or foe. One thing I do know is that today I count my blessings, giving God the praise that although I have a total knee replacement coming up I am positive that this feeling brand new will also help with that as 😂 I will literally be becoming brand new. Lots of work to do and lots of recovery. Recovery of the mind the will the soul and the ❤️. But I shall not die but live and serve the Lord Most High! So press on and never give up but feel brand new at some point it really makes a difference. Recovery Happens # Goals

Where do I start so much has happened since the last time I blogged omg! I swear I feel like the devil has been trying to kill me. Yikes! I not ready to die. And even if I was I would like to think I had some say so in the matter you know how? Where? When? Okay but this is ridiculous. I fell a few months ago and cut my arm and hit my knee no biggie I thought. Then I get an awesome opportunity to move into a 4 bedroom mini mansion and help homeless women you know being a recovery coach and all, Not! Now I got double bills one set for my house one set for the supportive living house okay that comes with the territory. Then I fall again almost broke both my ankles laid up for 3 months can’t walk the neighborhood you know do my “ concrete politicking, get my 2-5 mile walk in, and fresh air. Then the season change it’s winter it’s wet n cold out side and low and behold my boiler breaks no heat! You got to be kidding me. So I move my bed computer smart tv and computer and printer into the middle of the house plastic it all off and plug in my trusty electric heaters which by the way ran my electric bill through the roof. Not to mention still having to pay a portion of the rent and live in a 4 bedroom 2 bathroom house where I can only roam in the one one I plastics off it was like a nightmare a horror movie. Not to mention popcorn 🍿 my alter ego anxiety lost it and depression decided to join in. What the he’ll I didn’t live like this when I was on drugs. Somebody please throw me a rope not to get out but to hang myself really I felt like there was no sense in living anymore. A few dropped by and called but at that point I wasn’t letting anyone in come on it’s cold and no water can’t flush toilet some days I felt like I was in hell! No I was n hell. My Dr. said I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. No shit! So I got out of my lease and moved quickly in a house 2 blocks away fair for a square but definitely not what I was used to. But at least I had heat and waters. Now after moving in my leg begins to hurt and swell up why maybe because I moved from upstairs to upstairs in a 17 hour move with no breaks only to go to the doctor yesterday and find out I had torn ligaments etc and needed a knee replacement ASAP. Mind you all of the above happened as we were leaving 2019 and entering 2020. I don’t know about you but I needed a break from life itself the recovery coach herself needed recovery ok. So now I am in a rat infested apartment upstairs that is so small I can’t put all of my stuff in it and yes I said rats this is ridiculous! Lord help me please !!!!! Recovery Happens #Goals leave Buffalo in the next t year

Wow where have I been? I mean it’s Tuesday already? Wait I thought it was Wednesday? Wow I guess it’s part of Life’s Hangover. You know when you got too many irons in the fire, and you being pulled in a million different directions; time flies. You think you’ve done stuff and haven’t. You hide things from yourself.

And by the time you get around to that much needed 📝 paperwork it comes back stamped “Denied”. I think I better slow down too many projects going at one time. I mean it’s nice to help people, don’t get me wrong but sometimes you got to slow down ya know. Can’t take on every task like you some kind of super

I mean you may feel like one at times but when Life gets finish with you there is the Life’s Hangover to deal with. So I am going to put a pin in it here and say “ You doing to much Popcorn 🍿! Yes Popcorn she always does to much so I am getting back in the drivers seat and taking over this hangover vet has left me feeling confused and I don’t like it. Word to the wise “You can build Rome in a day”. 🎩 off to all you super hero’s but Life’s Hangover has gotten the best of me this round and I need regroup so until next time be encouraged! Recovery Happens # Goals!

It is so beautiful outside ☀️ 🍁 crisp air everyone shopping and smiling excited, getting ready for Thanksgiving 🦃. People hugging it just makes for a beautiful day in the neighborhood! I tell you I love ❤️ this time of the year everyone is in such a 🎊 festive mood. Really makes for a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Happy Thanksgiving Neighbor people 👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫kid’s Recovery Happens! #Goals! To be festive 😀

So many decisions to be made this holiday season. I am going to take my Thanksgiving dinner 🥘 over to my niece house who just lost her dad and we are going to have dinner together with our children and grandchildren so we can lift each other spirits! 😆 even though I am in the middle of moving while they repair my house another decision; and then turn around and move back in? Yes that’s what is going on lots of decisions. Decisions decisions decisions but God. One part of me says that his is too much at one time and my depression is trying to set in but 🍿 who is my anxiety and depression personality is not going to get me down not this time. I realize that Popcorn 🍿 has less and less power these days 😀👏🏼and Israel me that is Benita has become more in control then ever🎈Yes I am celebrating Israel!Many of my friends 👫 say they like Israel the best because she is strong 💪 and resilient . So as I go about my day making all of these decisions I pray everyone has a Blessed 🦃 day Happy Thanksgiving! Recovery Happens # Goals

It’s 5 am I am just recovering from a bout with the flu. I had a good day today no coughing, pain or sneezing and no sweating. And it is so quiet I don’t hear anything but my electric heater softly snoring. Wow 9 sleepless nights tossing and turning, coughing, eyes watering, itching and sneezing and now I find myself sitting up at 5 am asking myself “You hear that?” What? That’s it nothing no tv no body noises from the flu I want to 💤 but can’t. What was that ? Oh nothing 🤔 not even thinking out loud complete silence no lights on and I can’t sleep and am totally tired. I mean my body has just been through hell and when I can finally rest nothing. No rest for the weary they say so I guess I will turn out the 💡 oh that’s right they are out “You hear that? Recovery Happens # Goals

Down with the flu Achoo be back soon as I shake this cold”achoo”! Recovery Happens #Goals

Everyday it gets a little closer to funeralize my brother in law. I cry so some days until it feels like my eyes are raining on my face and other days it feels like it’s pouring like getting caught in a downpour with no umbrella 🌂 but today it’s literally flooding. I can see, I can’t talk on the phone commercials make me cry and God if I put on some gospels it’s like flooding outside and I don’t even have a raft or a boat to get through the streets. This is really hard the downpour of Life when someone you love passes away. So yep it’s raining it’s pouring and right now it’s flooding someone please through me a line a life 🧥 a raft even . God have mercy on us all doing times like these. I do know that better days are coming it just doesn’t feel like it right now. 🌧 It’s raining it’s pouring no it’s flooding! Recovery Happens soon I hope! # Goals

Here we go around the Mulberry Bush over and over agin. Is it not enough that we been up since last Thursday trying to deal with the lost of my dear Brother in law William aka Bubble Holmes? And by the way aka stands for “affectionately known as “ Moving on the family has changed there mind about things so many times that I feel like “Here we go around the Mulberry Bush” Jewish come on “Font get me wrong I am all for paying tribute but this undeceive was is enough to make you want to say “Let the dead bury the dead” come on I love you family and want peace and unity but you can’t keep changing your mind or is it just me? Well good news Bubble will be funeralizjed Saturday and maybe after we sit down to a family dinner that’s more like the Hatfields and the McCoys we can start anew and love on one another and cherish Bubble memories in harmony. I pray right now that peace enter all of our hearts and yours no matter what the upheaval Prayer changes things!!!! That said goodnight and peace and blessings to everyone. My goal Love and Happiness ! recovery Happens !